Sometimes I like to get shit off my chest.
Before my fellow pedants do the math, I’m not saying that this is full of shit, it just gives me a place to arrange the chaos. Writing, especially when done furiously and passionately in a stream of consciousness, tends to unearth some mighty fine nuggets of gold and the occasional pearl of wisdom. In the moment, at least.
Journaling is a lot like getting a tattoo. There is that moment when you wonder if you’ll regret putting this thought, this opinion, this emotion on display…and then do it anyway because Hells Yes this is ME, UNAPOLOGETIC until oh fuck did I really mean to do that? So often we are strong in our convictions only to be deconstructed down to bland, unsalted rice-like quality by a society herding us back to the sandy center of monotony. Yes, honey bear, you did mean to do it. Revel in those moments of ambiguous certainty and follow that wild beating heart. Tattoos and journals are not about sustaining the same emotion later on “when I get a new job” or “when I have kids” or whatever milestone you are afraid of; it’s about reverence for the moment you felt it. The time. The smell. The sensation of that excitement on your skin. It’s all fleeting but we have the opportunity each and every day to sink into the intensity and stamp it on the canvas of our choice. Sure I might want to change these words around or feel sharp pains of vulnerability when I read any of these posts later on down the line, but it won’t change the authenticity of this moment, right now. So as a challenge to you AND future me…Write it down. Press save. Read and re-read, edit and evolve, but don’t hide- let that freak flag fly! In these Musings you’ll find thoughts, pieces, gems, rocks, reveries, and absolutely nothing at all, and I hope you enjoy most of it.